Start Raising Successful Children
By: Striker Corbin BrainyChild.com
Raising healthy, well-adjusted, respectful, and ultimately successful
children is hard work. Unfortunately, it seems that many parents
are either unwilling to put in the time and effort or, more likely,
they do not know how to parent effectively. What do most people
whose family lives are "out of control" prefer to do?
They convince themselves that having well-behaved children and
a stable, loving family is not possible. It's an unobtainable
goal, so why even try? In fact, these days it is vogue to mock
We repeatedly witness "new" television shows using
the same "old" stories that feature "out of control,"
insolent teenagers and their parents who struggle to raise them.
The constant bombardment of this theme reinforces the impression
that teenagers should behave disrespectfully and be unrestrained.
The message is clear: Welcome to family life in the year 2010
- complete chaos! In fact, it's: normal" to be "dysfunctional."
On TV, the adolescents eventually "see the error of their
ways" but, in reality, it is immeasurably harder to redirect
children of teenage years. The most important time in developing
your child's character starts at the young ages. Raising respectful,
responsible, reliable children starts from DAY 1. Quality parenting
takes effort and consistency. You must teach your child what is,
and what is not, acceptable behavior: so simple yet so challenging
for many parents today. We risk angering our children by setting
boundaries or telling them "no." They might not like
it. What if they dislike me? What if they tantrum? It takes strength
to bear your child's manipulative "anger" towards you,
yet it is your responsibility to do so. As long as your discipline
is conveyed with love and understanding, your children will grow
up and realize you took certain actions because you love them.
Effective parenting begins by modeling simple character-building
principles. Years ago, as our children were beginning elementary
school, my wife taped the following list of ideals to our refrigerator:
" Choose the difficult right over the easy wrong.
" Don't whine or complain.
" Tell the truth.
" Do your best, no matter how trivial the task.
" Look out for the group before you look out for yourself.
" Judge other by their actions not their race.
Everyone in the family has become all too familiar with "Mom's
List." I can not count the number of times my wife marched
our kids over to the refrigerator and made them read an entry.
She was trying, right from an early age to develop character,
decency, and honor in our children by holding them to these standards
and by consistently demonstrating their usage. The first item,
for example, must be taught-children-like most of us, do not instinctively
choose the "difficult right" over the "easy wrong."
Get them to
do "the right thing" habitually and you have set a foundation
for excellence and future success.
Living by high standards and modeling the behavior you expect
from your children may be challenging in today's world. Between
influences in the entertainment industry, materialistic desires,
and declining public decency standards, nowadays it is a rare
individual who displays unwavering ethical tendencies. Ever try
being the parent who says "no" while it seems as though
all of your children's friends are being given too much freedom?
Are you competing with people who want to be friends with their
children rather than parents to them? Never justify what you will
and will not accept with the logic that "everybody's doing
it" or that's how kids are today, and do not accept this
excuse from your children. Parenting is a full-time job and we
need t commit to it.
Raising children takes patience, skill, and involvement. They
do not need another friend: they need guidance, structure, and
yes, sometimes discipline. The following list contains suggestions
that, implemented regularly, provide a firm foundation for quality
" Let your children benefit from your experience and knowledge.
Talk with them!
" Set reasonable boundaries and enforce them with consistency.
" Discipline fairly. Be ready to follow through if you threaten
to punish. Otherwise, children quickly learn that there is no
consequence for inappropriate behavior.
" Instill ethics in you children by modeling noble values.
" Have family dinners often. It is not impossible-it is essential.
This time can be
a family's most memorable period of the day.
" Do no accept what seems to be true or conventional wisdom.
All teenagers are
not brats. All families are not in chaos - and if yours is, it
does not need to
be, starting this minute.
" Raise your standards of behavior and your children will
pattern themselves after the person they most respect: you.
" Let your kids be kids: they will grow up fast enough. Eight
your-old girls, for example, do not need to wear lipstick and
" Most importantly, give them unconditional love and support.
Finally, acknowledge that your children live up to your expectations.
Mention that "my son always forgets to tell me things"
and he will. Call you daughter "lazy" and laziness will
become her trademark. Expect them to be troublesome, in fact,
make light of it to friends and guess what? Your kids will behave
as you predict. Contrarily, treat your children with respect,
and they will behave respectfully. Eventually, they will grow
up and once they are adults, you will have not only a friend you
respect, but also someone who respects you.